Kanto Region: Day 2

Dumbledore vs. Charizard! Frozone vs. Ezio Auditore! Lizard vs. Blastoise! Hydra vs. Cyrax! It’s Day Two of the Tournament of Champions: Kanto Region. Who will join Mewtwo in the Sweet Sixteen? MaristPlayBoy breaks it down.

If you missed the introduction, click here.
Kanto Region Day 1

Another day, another set of great match-ups to get to. Let’s head back to the Kanto Region and get right to it.

4. Dumbledore vs. 29. Charizard


Charizard’s seeding puzzles me. Charizard is a fire-breathing dragon with strong wings and claws. Surely he’s not 20 seeds below the European Dragon we saw yesterday? Heck, you could make the case that Charizard is stronger than a traditional dragon, as he can turn his tail into iron upon command (once he learns the proper TM, of course). Maybe that move isn’t so powerful in the game, but I have to think the real-world implications would be much bigger. So is it just because he’s a Pokemon? I guess, but Pokemon at the peak of their power are really strong. I don’t get it.

Unfortunately for Charizard, his harsh seeding puts him head-to-head with one of the most powerful wizards to ever live, Dumbledore. Headmaster at Hogwarts, mentor to Harry Potter, and rightful owner of the Elder Wand, the man is one of the wisest and most revered wizards in school history, and for good reason. As much as I think Charizard was undervalued in this tournament, there’s no way any dragon gets the jump on Dumbledore. He’s more than well-prepared for a battle like this. Dumbledore gets the nod.

13. Frozone vs. 20. Ezio Auditore


Frozone is the lovable ally of the Incredibles with the ability to freeze just about anything (including moisture in the air) to move faster or take out enemies. Ezio Auditore is a master assassin capable of taking out a legion of armed guards in a matter of seconds without being seen, or taking on hordes of soldiers in sword combat. This match-up really comes down to my addendum on the location of these fights.

See, I chose the Final Destination stage from Super Smash Bros. Brawl because I wanted these fighters to win based on their skills, not by luck or by an uneven manipulation of the environment. It had to be one-on-one, mano-a-mano…which means I’ve basically screwed Ezio before he began. I’m a big fan of the Assassin’s Creed Franchise (Probably my favorite series of games of all time), but even I know that in open combat with a guy with freezing powers, he doesn’t stand much of a chance. If it was just a matter of Frozone throwing deadly balls of ice as Ezio charged, I’d say Ezio could dodge and maneuver until he got his chance to strike. But Frozone can freeze his opponents from range using the moisture in the air; Ezio has no counter to that. The match goes to Frozone, which means…

4. Dumbledore vs. 13. Frozone


Magic vs. Superhero Powers. The debate’s raged on for centuries. Unfortunately for Frozone, he’s not the kind of superhero that can bring this into question. Dumbledore casts a spell to dehydrate Frozone to non-lethal capacities (remember, no insta-death spells allowed), and Frozone’s been weakened beyond repair. Game over. Dumbledore cruises to the next round.

5. Lizard vs. 28. Blastoise


Lizard, the Spider-Man villain created when Dr. Curt Conners accidentally overexposed himself to mutagenic particles (stay with me here), is a lot more powerful than most people realize. I was the first to question how he got a 5 seed in this tournament, but when you look at his stat sheet, he earns it. Superhuman strength, speed, agility, and reflexes. Highly resistant to any physical damage due to his scaly skin. The ability to heal quickly (he can regenerate entire limbs, people!). The guy is basically a walking tank. The only downside to these powers is a lower level of intelligence, which won’t really come into play when he’s fighting a Blastoise.

Blastoise, if you don’t know, is one of the most powerful water Pokemon in existence. He literally has two cannons attached to his shell that pump water faster and more powerfully than a raging waterfall. Unfortunately for Blastoise, questionable seeding (a 28 seed? Really? I like him better than the 14 seed at least, but we’ll get to him later) means he’s going up against someone who couldn’t care less how powerful his water cannons are. Blastoise may have a strong outer shell, but he can’t withdraw in it forever, and as soon as his head pops up, Lizard will rip him to shreds. Lizard takes the win.

12. Hydra vs. 21. Cyrax


The Lernaean Hydra is a mythological creature (this region’s almost top-heavy with them) that has poisonous breath and multiple heads. For each one you cut off, two more grow in its place, unless you get lucky and cut off the one head that is not immortal. Cyrax, meanwhile, is a cyborg ninja from Mortal Kombat with access to bombs and buzzsaws. Never has a match-up had two fighters that were so entirely different in origin and style.

Unfortunately for Hydras, poisonous breath doesn’t really work on cyborgs, and Cyrax’s advanced buzzsaws are perfect for cutting off heads. It might take a while if he doesn’t guess the head right the first time, but he’ll knock the beast out soon enough. Cyrax advances easily, which means…

5. Lizard vs. 21. Cyrax


How underrated was Cyrax in the rankings here? I mean, the cyborg ninja with buzzsaws is a 21 seed? Please. He can hold his own with the Lizard here, and I think the match would be one for the ages. Lizard has his advanced speed and reflexes, but Cyrax has his built-in ninja reflexes to level the playing field. Lizard has superhuman damage resistance, and Cyrax is a cyborg. Either Lizard uses his superhuman strength to tear Cyrax into tiny pieces, or Cyrax uses his buzzsaws to decimate Lizard before he can regenerate. This match will go to the wire, and the winner will be unpredictable until the very end…but I think Cyrax pulls off the upset here. Buzzsaws are more powerful against scale armor than claws are against advanced metalloid technology. So our final battle…

4. Dumbledore vs. 21. Cyrax


…is once again a no-brainer. I’m sorry guys. I want to save the best fight for last, but let’s face it, magic beats technology every time. Either on purpose or on accident, magic tends to make the most sophisticated of technology break down and die; in fact, the more sophisticated the technology is, the more likely the sheer presence of magic will make it break down (If you don’t know what I mean, you should read The Dresden Files. Jim Butcher has spent a lot of time updating the classical world of magic to the modern age, and the way his novels treat technology is now the standard). And let’s face it: what could be more advanced than a cyborg ninja? Even if Cyrax didn’t break down in the sheer presence of the Elder Wand, I’m pretty sure Dumbledore has a spell to make machines malfunction. With an easy victory, Dumbledore advances to the Sweet Sixteen.

(Quick aside: If this were an actual event, this is when we would cut to the Lizard saying that he could have taken Dumbledore out…and he’d be right. I actually would have taken Lizard over Dumbledore, though it would have been wicked close. This is what happens when a cyborg ninja is somehow a 21 seed. Sucks for Lizard; lucky for Dumbledore. C’est la vie)

Another day of epic fights is in the books. Now, it’s time to hear what you think. Feel free to comment below and let us know who you think is the ultimate champion. We’ll return to the Kanto Region tomorrow, but until then, this is MaristPlayBoy, signing out.