So, this past weekend I was at Otakon up in Baltimore. As always, I had lots of fun, and it was my third year going. I’ve been to a couple of other cons as well, and I couldn’t help but notice that there are certain types of people who show up at every con, and they make the con less pleasant and less enjoyable for everyone. I decided, then, to make a list of the most annoying types of con behaviors, and give some helpful hints to all my readers, so that you, too, can avoid acting this way.
Here’s how this is going to work. I’m going to list the behavior, give a general description of what I mean, and what this behavior is like. Then I’ll list some warning factors that ‘This might be you’ as well as some tips on how to avoid this behavior. Just a note, and I’m saying this right off the bat: I am talking about BEHAVIORS here, not specific people. Sometimes I might slip and insinuate that the fault is with the person here, because it was easier to phrase that way, but I am NOT TALKING ABOUT PEOPLE. The fault will always be in the behavior itself, not the person exhibiting it.
I hope you enjoy!
9. Unwanted Tagalongs
Description: Now, I make the distinction of UNWANTED in this form of tagalong. One of the purposes of a con is to meet people who appreciate your similar interests. People make friends at cons, and that’s perfectly fine. Joining up with another group is all well and good-as long as that group wants you there with them. An unwanted tagalong attaches himself (or herself, but I’m going to use himself for ease of typing. I am by no means suggesting it is only guys that do this) to a group that clearly doesn’t want him there. Unwanted tagalongs just make everyone unhappy, because the group doesn’t want the tagalong there, and the tagalong won’t have fun as a result.
Signs this may be you: If you’re chatting with a group of people, and join with them, there are always some subtle clues that they don’t really want you there. Usually they’ll be a little more quiet, and body language can be a big indicator. Sometimes, but not usually, they’ll even be blunt and be rude, or frankly tell you to go away.
How to avoid this: If you’re talking to people, pay attention for all those clues I just mentioned. And my rule is, if they invite you to join them, you’re fine. If you invite yourself to join them, be sure to do so in a courteous way, and if they seem hesitant or unsure, don’t push it. Kindly excuse yourself, and go somewhere else. No one wants to hang out with people who don’t want them. Chances are you’ll find some people at the con who you’ll click with. On the converse of this circumstance, if you’re in a group that has somehow gotten an unwanted tagalong, be nice to him or her. Don’t be rude and impolite and tell them to just go away. If you can, find an excuse for the group to naturally split away from the tagalong. I understand that it can be frustrating having someone who around you really would rather not (and I’ll admit that I can be a little rude when someone is around me that I don’t want there), but as always, remember that they’re a person, and whatever you do, be respectful.
8. The “WHY AREN’T YOU IN CHARACTER?”
Description: We all love seeing our favorite characters cosplayed at a con. But some people take it a little too far. They start talking with the person, treating them like they are that character instead of a person in a costume. Now, calling someone by the character name to get their attention is one thing: you don’t always know a person’s name, and if you want to take a picture, there’s not another good way to get their attention. But this type of congoer expects the cosplayer to be in character, all the time, and that’s not always going to be the case.
Signs this may be you: If you’re expecting a cosplayer to be in character……
How to avoid this: Remember, the cosplayer is a person in a costume. Not the character from the anime. On a similar vein, voice actors are actors. They are not their characters, and are usually nothing like their characters. Just remember that. And try not to have any expectations or be disappointed if they’re not in character.
7. People who Don’t Shut Up
Description: So, we all are guilty of talking to random people at cons. And we’re all a little guilty of being excitable about a series that we like. And we like to talk about that. But this type of congoer goes beyond the normal type of talking about your favorite series, and does so incessantly. Whether it’s in line for a panel, at the panel itself, in the dealer’s room, or just randomly in the con, this is the type of person who you just want to yell at, saying “PLEASE STOP TALKING!”
Signs this may be you: Are you dominating a conversation? Are you still talking? Has the other person said anything since you first started talking to them? If you said yes to the first two and no to the third…….chances are…..
How to avoid this: Stop talking. It’s really easy. Just. Stop. Talking.
6. The Surprise Flashers (aka the Inconsiderate Cameraman)
Description: There are always people who cosplay. As such, there are always people who take pictures of cosplayers they like. This is all normal for a con. The Surprise Flasher, however, is rather inconsiderate or rude about it. They take pictures of someone without asking, or, when they’re not ready for a picture, or they ask for a picture at very inappropriate times. (Seriously, I don’t care if you love Modoka or not. If she’s in the bathroom, it’s not a good time for a picture.)
Signs this may be you: If you’re being obnoxious, and the cosplayers look exasperated with you, you should probably reexamine your photograph strategy.
How to avoid this: Just be polite. Remember that cosplayers are people too, and give them the respect they deserve. If you don’t want to be photographed at awkward times, chances are someone else doesn’t either.
5. The Accidental Flashers
Description: This category I find particularly irksome. There are always those few people whose cosplays don’t quite fit properly. These people usually are about 1 sneeze away from a major wardrobe malfunction.
Signs this may be you: Are your shorts so short that you have to keep pulling out of your ass? Are your breasts pouring over the top of your top? Are you wearing spandex that are incredibly tight and leaving nothing to the imagination? If you answered yes to any of these questions……this may be you…..
How to avoid this: I’ll say it for the record: please make sure your costume fits you properly. Ladies, if you’re about to fall out of the top or bottom of your bra, that’s easy to fix. Buy a bra that fits. Falling out of the bottom means that you don’t have the proper support, and that’s not going to be good for you in the long run. It’s also just plain uncomfortable. Similarly, please remember that the magic of anime makes certain characters stay in their costumes, and adapt yours to cover you properly and completely (this also holds true for reasons explained in number 4.) Your cosplay should not be dangerously close to an Indecent Exposure charge. Gents, your…….unmentionables…should stay covered at all times as well. And I can’t imagine anything else would be comfortable, just saying (He-Man cosplayers, I’m talking to you.)
4. “Rated R for Language (and Sexuality)”
Description: This section requires a bit of explanation. Cons are, for the most part, generally advertised as family friendly affairs. At least during the day. As such, there are a lot of kids around. The “Rated R” congoer frequently either fails to take this into consideration or just doesn’t care. The two things I’m focusing on specifically are excessive swearing and excessively slutty/revealing cosplays. First off, swearing. Don’t get me wrong; I swear like a sailor sometimes, and I’ll be one of the first to admit it. But there are children around at a con, and they don’t need to be hearing that type of language. So really, just watch your mouth when children are present. That is all. Now, onto the revealing cosplays. There are 2 ways this can happen. The first, cosplaying a character with a more revealing outfit, like Yoko from Gurren Lagann, is slightly more forgivable. The second is taking a cosplay that shouldn’t be revealing and making it revealing (Pokewhores, I’m talking about you….). If you’re comfortable enough with your body to feel like doing that type of cosplay, that’s fine, and I applaud you for. But try not to be showing so much skin around small children. They don’t need to see that. After hours is fine: the kids are usually gone by then, and it’s blatantly listed as 18+. But during the day? Be considerate of the children.
(Not going to include the tips and warning signs: I think I’ve already covered them here).
3. Generally Rude/Inconsiderate People
Description: I feel like this section doesn’t need much of a description. Rude and inconsiderate people are just that. I’m not talking about the people who are occasionally rude. That happens sometimes. I’m talking about the people who are rude or inconsiderate most of the time, ESPECIALLY with props. If you’re carrying a large prop, make sure you aren’t hitting people with it. Or at least apologize if you do. Also, line cutters. NOT COOL. I’m also not going to include signs it may be you or tips on how to avoid it, because I feel like both of those are common sense things. Just be polite, people.
2. Debbie Downers
Description: A Debbie Downer is well known for complaining, and loudly voicing the fact that they are not having fun. At a con, a Debbie Downer can be one of the most draining types of people to be around. They constantly talk about how they’re miserable, or not having fun, they complain about having to wait in lines, and so on and so forth. It’s almost like they want everyone to be as miserable as they are, or find a magically way to make them have fun again. Eventually, everyone in their group becomes almost as miserable as they are. If things get bad enough, the rest of the group may snap at the Debbie Downer, and tensions just get higher.
Signs this may be you: If the people in your group consistently seem unhappy with you, and you find yourself not having a good time at the con, you might be a bit of a Debbie Downer.
Tips to avoid this: Try to remember that you’re here to have fun. Lines are a part of any con, and you should bring things to keep yourself busy during the long waits. If you’re not having fun with your group, find something that you want to do. If no one in your group wants to join you, go on your own. Or try to find some people to hang out with (but don’t become an unwanted tagalong). If you’re truly having a miserable time and can’t seem to cheer yourself up, no one is forcing you to stay at the con-you can always go back your hotel, or somewhere else.
1. The Accuracy Snob
Description: Cosplay is a huge part of any con; that’s fairly common knowledge. Some cosplays are also more involved or more well done than others. The Accuracy Snob harps on every little detail of a cosplay, and gets cranky if something isn’t done absolutely correctly. Sometimes, they even voice their opinions loudly enough for the person they’re criticizing to hear, and that’s just rude and disheartening. So what if Cloud’s hair isn’t the right shade of blonde or spiked in the right way? There’s only one place where complete accuracy matters in cosplay: the costume contest.
There’s an alternate form of the Accuracy Snob, who gets cranky seeing cosplays that don’t fit the theme of the con. For example, this second type of Accuracy Snob gets unhappy seeing Jack Sparrow at an Anime con. Again, I say: SO WHAT? Cosplay is about whatever the person cosplaying decides. People have different levels of skill and ability, and that is reflected in their cosplay. They shouldn’t be judged because they didn’t get every single detail right, but rather they should be applauded for having the drive to create a cosplay in the first place.
Signs this might be you: If you see yourself walking by people, thinking ‘oh that’s not right’ in reference to their cosplays, or ‘what’s he doing here, this is an anime con…’ you might be falling into the trap of being an accuracy snob.
How to avoid this: Keep an open mind when you’re walking through the con. Remember that people are here to have fun. I’m not saying you can’t talk to people about their cosplays–if you want to compliment them, or find out more about their methods and the work they did, that’s perfectly fine and acceptable. If you don’t particularly like someone’s cosplay, talk to them. Ask them about the choices they made, in a calm and polite manner, and learn more about their thought process behind the cosplay and their goals for it. Just don’t insult them for making mistakes, or judge them because “they did it wrong.” If you would have done the cosplay differently, it’s okay to tell them that, as long as you do it respectfully. You might even learn or be able to teach them about something either of you didn’t know before. If you still feel that you absolutely must insult, criticize, or judge someone else’s cosplay, follow what I like to call “The Three Mile Rule.” Wait until you’re at least 3 miles away from the convention center. You don’t want to make someone feel bad about a cosplay they put a lot of time and effort to. (As someone who’s had that happen, believe me, it sucks.)
So there’s my list. Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying that you need to be a perfectly perfect and wonderful and amazing person on their absolute best behavior. Cons are places where you can let your hair down a little bit, and be the anime/sci-fi nerd you are but can’t be in your everyday life. And that’s great. I completely believe that you should be able to do what you want and express yourself at a con. My issue, and the reason I wrote this post, is that there are times where doing what you want can cross a line and infringe on other people’s good times. That’s not fair to anyone. One of the most wonderful things about this community, the sci-fi, fantasy, and anime community that is, is the degree to which we are accepting and welcoming of others. We need to make sure we keep it that way.
On that note, I want to make the disclaimer that I am NOT trying to say that you are a bad person if you do any of these things, or that you shouldn’t go to the con. You have a right to have a good time at a con. But so does everyone else there. All of the things I have mentioned here are types of behaviors that I have personally run into at cons, and I have had my con experience be significantly less enjoyable because of some of them. Please don’t mistake me for being judgmental, or intolerant of different types of people. I am simply responding to BEHAVIORS I have seen that violate one of my most fundamental beliefs: that everyone deserves to be treated in a respectful, civil manner.
As always, I welcome comments, reactions, and thoughts about my article. I ask simply that you keep it civil. If I’ve offended anyone, I’m truly sorry. Bring it up in a comment, and I’ll do my best to figure out where the offense came in, and try to rectify the situation. But be polite about it. If you come at me, yelling and swearing and telling me off, that’s not productive or helpful. We’re all thoughtful, intelligent, and rational people, there’s no reason that we can’t be that way in a comment thread.
Until next time,
Angel out!