Marvel is strange, to say the least. I already mentioned Squirrel Girl and how strange she was, but Marvel takes even its normal characters and creates alternate forms which are, let’s just say, really weird. Since the recent Avengers movie means that the main characters are pretty well known, I’m going to use them to give you an idea of what I mean.
Thor – …or should I say ‘Thorangutan’. An example of Marvel’s love of turning their characters into animals. The most extensive world is the simian reality, but there are also dinosaurs and dogs, at least that I know of. I kinda want to see Marvel characters as birds, but maybe that’s just me.
Iron Man – A.K.A. Iron Lantern, part of the Marvel/DC amalgam universe wherein Marvel and DC characters are blended together. You probably guessed by the name, but yes, it is in fact Iron Man with a Green Lantern ring (because giving Tony Stark a power ring sounded like such a good idea at the time).
Captain America – More than any other hero, Captain America has done a lot of time shifting. Rojaz, the Native American from 1602, Yeoman America in Morgan le Fay’s age of exploration reality warp, Stephen Rogers from the American Civil War, even a future version in 2099. Of course he’s not the only time traveling hero, just the most experienced.
Hawkeye – Hawkeye is an ideal representative for the MarvelZombieverse — if there is one thing you don’t want it’s a zombie with superhuman archery accuracy (Cap’n Amer. loses his shield, Iron Man doesn’t get infected, sorta, most heroes have their powers, but no weapons). To make matters more absurd, the aforementioned Zombieverse and simian reality have a cross over at one point.
Nick Fury – Meet Nick Fury’s counterpart, NicoleFury. Yup, “gender bending” runs rampant in marvel alternate realities, in fact you’d be hard pressed to find a character who hasn’t been gender-bent in at least one version of reality. Amusingly, there is also a gender-bent Nichole Furry in the ape universe.
Black Widow – While it’s much more visible with female characters, Marvel also loves giving characters kids. In one reality, it seems that Russia decided Black Widow would be put to better use to produce talented assassin children, crossing her genes with the genes of one of Peter Parker’s spidery-genes. Their genes are are then used to make kids, but due to her spider genes, sheends up giving birth to 123 mutant spider children!
Yeah, so basically alternate realities are really weird when it comes to Marvel. I think I’ll stick to the original, age of apocalypse and ultimate. They’re classics and I don’t have to worry about a female, zombie, giraffe Professor X using her lasso of truth on Leonardo da Vinci to protect her calfs.
Baker Street Holmes, aka Matthew Bryant, is one of the Red Shirt Crew editors, and has just started the exciting adventure of watching Doctor Who 1st through 7th doctor serials. You can follow him on twitter @BStreetHolmes or e-mail him through HMCrazySS@gmail.com.
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