GameRx Diagnosis: Pokedex

At some point, anyone who plays Pokemon eventually realizes just how ridiculous the entries in the Pokedex actually are. These range from the plausible to the improbable, eventually drifting into the realm of absurdity. The thought had occurred to me before, but it hadn’t really sunk in until a particular album appeared on reddit. In general, the album suggests that the Pokedex is largely made up.

Here’s what I think is happening. The Pokedex is simply a pocket-sized terminal that has wireless access to a large wiki. Originally created by Professor Oak and his team of Pokemon researchers, this wiki is open to the general public, letting anyone add information about any Pokemon they discover. However, the beauty of “wiki magic” backfires on the project, opening the research to children with wild imaginations. Due to the sophomoric nature inherent to most youths, the wiki is quickly filled with scientifically ludicrous claims, such as a bird being able to fly at mach 2, which remain uncorrected throughout each iteration of the wiki. What the hell is going on here?

Essentially, the Pokedex program tanked because children are stupid. [citation needed]

Okay, fair point; it’s not entirely the truth. I guess I have some explaining to do.

Pretty early on in the game, we can tell that children are the largest demographic of trainers and seems to be taken as a sort of “rite of passage” ritual at an early age. Unfortunately, training Pokemon doesn’t pay the rent, leaving collecting and training to those children (yes, or adults) with the disposable income and free time to pursue the hobby. The mind of a child is classically burdened with the ignorance of youth, so naturally these kids get so caught up in how nifty Pokemon are that their observations rely mostly on The Rule of Cool rather than the much less epic scientific method.

However, with a bit of exploring we find there are a notable number of Pokemon scientists in the world, all of whom seem to take their work very seriously. Remember that these guys were able to make Mewtwo out of fossilized Mew DNA inorder to bring back the dead daughter of the lead scientist. That’s some heavy stuff in any setting.

So why don’t they fix the wiki if it’s blatantly wrong? After all, we see some clear exaggerations that remain in the PokeDex in each new iteration; almost every version has claimed that Alakazam has an IQ of 5000 — an absolutely ludicrous suggestion in so many ways. Do the kids with access to the Dex wiki make the system practically unsusable, or do the scientists just not care enough about the project to be bothered? I mean, they could lock it up for private or registered use, couldn’t they?

Well, yeah. Technically they could. However, that goes against the goal of the project. Imagine a Wikipedia that can only be edited by verified experts of the various fields therein. Your data would likely be substantially more accurate, but your authorship is reduced by so many people that you simply can’t generate the same sheer vastness of content as you can with a completely open wiki. That much seems pretty logical.

Okay, great. So they leave the wiki open to the children. Doesn’t this mess up the research efforts of the scientists, breeders, veterinarians, and other experts in the field that wish to use this data? Not necessarily.

Here’s where things get crafty. The PokeDex project is actually a bit of a meta-experiment, designed only to be used by amateur trainers. A wiki for trained professionals exists, but is kept under very heavy moderation. The wiki that trainers access from their PokeDexes is a separate sort of sandbox project set up by Professor Oak and the scientists at Pallet Town in hopes of understanding how the juvenile brain works. With the public wiki, the scientists wish to study how children learn and pioneer new fields without the guidance of experienced adults. The mind of a child seems like it would be ideal for exploration with its nearly dysfunctional combination of curiosity and naivety. Get them to research something that they find fun and engaging, and perhaps they will pick up nuances missed by the more crystallized memories of adults.

Granted, the ethics of this move are a completely different discussion with its own fascinating implications, but we’ll save those for another time, shall we?

In the meantime, consider this theory next time you pick up your GameBoy for a Pokemon session. You’re not only providing a scientific organization with valuable data on how to use the flexible minds of the young for the good of humanity. You are one of many pieces to a much larger puzzle that’s looking to change the very fabric of society. You are one gear in a revolutionary machine of scientific advancement, paving the way for generations to come.

Whoa.

Doc Watson is the current lead editor for the RedShirt Crew Blog. He’s the proud owner of an original Hasbro Pokedex from ye olde dayes of yore and wishes there was a plastic Pokedex shell for his iTouch. If you have questions, comments, or input on anything here, leave a comment below or send a tweet to @DocWatsonMD.