Wolverine vs. Wario! Donatello vs. a Griffin! Piccolo vs. Nite Owl! Alien vs. Ray Lewis! It’s…a weird day of match-ups, honestly, but somebody’s got to break it down, and MaristPlayBoy is here once again.
New to the action? Check out the introduction to the Tournament of Champions here.
Another day, another set of first round match-ups to analyze. It’s time to head to Tatooine once more to check out the action!
2. Wolverine vs. 31. Wario
Wario, Mario’s rival in the Mushroom Kingdom, is actually probably underrated here. Before you start laughing uncontrollably, hear me out: Wario possesses superhuman strength which is central to his games. Whereas Mario touches an enemy and gets bowled over, Wario bowls over the koopas and goombas that get in his way. He’s a champion wrestler with a killer body slam move, and he’s able to further enhance his strength by consuming garlic. Oh, and he has toxic fart abilities that stun his enemies. I can’t make this stuff up. All of that combined, it’s hard to argue that he’s only a 31 seed. I’d take him over Jaws, the 24 seed, that’s for sure.
Still, he’s no match for Wolverine, the badass X-Man we all remember with superhuman healing abilities and an adamantium skeleton that ends with those signature razor sharp claws that are strong enough to cut through any material you can name. His superhuman sight, hearing, and agility traits make him even more dangerous when he can track his prey, but he’s more than powerful enough to rip Wario into pieces, and he possesses enough animalistic rage that we know he won’t hold back. Wolverine tears him to shreds.
15. Donatello vs. 18. Griffin
Oh, Donatello, my personal favorite of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles; it’s about time we found you here in this tournament. Donatello was the classic nerd of the team, and he met all the stereotypes that characters of that type had in eighties and nineties cartoons. He would constantly make inventions that never seemed to work only for them to have a practical purpose in defeating the bad guy at the end of the episode. I associated myself with him far more than I could associate myself with any of the other turtles, that’s for sure. Battle wise, he’s not actually that great, which is why his seeding here is odd to me. He used a Bo staff, which is a great weapon for non-lethal combat, but is exactly the wrong type of weapon for this tournament.
Enter: the Griffin. Known as one of the most powerful and majestic creatures in mythology, it has the body of a lion and the head and wings of an eagle. It has the eagle’s speed and flight while still having a lion’s strength and instinct. There’s not much known about griffins, honestly, since they’re more used for symbolic purposes, but I don’t think Donatello could knock him out on his own. Donatello is just not a great fighter on his own, and he won’t have the time to invent a solution here. The Griffin advances in an upset.
2. Wolverine vs. 18. Griffin
In addition to all the powers I listed above, Wolverine is an expert in every martial arts field known to man, an espionage expert with an incredible amount of knowledge due to his extended lifespan, and weapon proficiency with just about anything you could come up with. I tell you all of this because we both already know that a Griffin doesn’t stand a chance against Wolverine. Wolverine will slice and dice his way to the next round. I just figured you’d want to know more about Wolverine (he’s so cool; admit it). The mutant advances!
7. Piccolo vs. 26. Nite Owl
Nite Owl is a hero from the Watchmen franchise that is essentially Batman if he had Blue Beetle’s personality. He’s basically a massive hobbyist who collects and builds all the owl-themed gadgets he can to fight crime, making him nothing more than a less badass version of Batman for the purposes of this tournament. I don’t mean to sound like I’m hating on Batman (at least, not until we get to Batman’s match-ups later in the tournament), but I don’t think that’s enough of a skill set for a tournament like this.
On the other end of the spectrum, Piccolo is a Namekian from the Dragonball franchise with the ability to move so quickly as to be invisible, fly using the air dance technique, regenerate lost limbs of his body, and shoot a powerful beam cannon out of his index and middle fingers, all while possessing super human hearing and strength. Do you even need to ask who wins this round? Piccolo advances.
10. Xenomorph vs. 23. Ray Lewis
…
7. Piccolo vs. … What?
You’re really going to make me give reasons why a Xenomorph, the alien from the Alien franchise, strong enough to punch in steel doors with blades for tails with acid blood that can be used to corrode anything in their way and the ability to camouflage into any environment, will defeat Ray Lewis, a thug linebacker who is best known for delivering hard hits on the field and getting away with murder off of it? Really? What’s Ray Lewis’s defense against a Xenomorph? His shoulder pads? Come on, this is a joke nomination, and there is absolutely no reason he’s ranked this high except for the LOL factor. Honestly, I’d find the joke a lot funnier if he wasn’t such a horrible individual (great football player though; I’ll admit that). Xenomorph wins as I laugh. Yes, I’m a horrible person. Moving on.
7. Piccolo vs. 10. Xenomorph
While Xenomorphs are powerful in packs, they’re not actually all that powerful in one-on-one combat. Their skills are more inclined on an individual level for subversion of entire populaces over time, attacking when others least expect it using stealth skills to plant the next generation of Xenomorphs to slowly but surely take over a planet. They’re incredibly strong, but they do not possess superhuman speed or agility, nor do they have any increased damage resistance (though one must always be careful to not die from the acidic blood). Piccolo has a ranged attack with his Special Beam Cannon that can probably take out a Xenomorph in one strike, and even if it couldn’t, I think Piccolo could dodge more hits and hit with more strikes than vice versa. Piccolo, the better fighter, advances.
Which leads us to our final battle:
2. Wolverine vs. 7. Piccolo
Both of these fighters have incredible healing abilities that will allow them to recover from nearly any injury they could be given. Piccolo has ranged attacks, but Wolverine is agile enough to dodge them. Wolverine’s adamantium claws are nearly unrivaled in strength, but Piccolo can more than hold his own in hand-to-hand combat. This is a battle that will go back and forth, and honestly, it could probably go for several rounds as each fighter recovers from his injuries. The winner will be the one that is able to cut off the other’s head first…
…and I think Piccolo will win in the end. Sorry, but Nameks are capable of moving so quickly that he cannot be seen, and he is capable of flight. At some point, he can run away quickly enough to send a ranged destructive wave attack (disks of energy that can slice through enemies) right through Wolverine’s throat. It will be very, very close, but I’m giving the edge to the Namekian, Piccolo.
Agree with my decisions? Want to rip me apart with your own adamantium claws? Let me know in the comments below, and be sure to come back tomorrow for Day Four of our coverage from Tatooine. Until then, this is MaristPlayBoy, signing out.
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Erm. I seriously doubt Piccolo would be able to cut through Wolverine's adamantium-reinforced neck with any of his moves. If you're thinking about the Destructo-Disk, then yes, that MAY work. Except Piccolo doesn't know it, and I do not believe he has ever used it in the anime or manga. That's Krillin.
Piccolo's Destructive Wave techniques (pretty similar to Krillin's though Piccolo spends more energy to achieve the same result) and Beam Cannon abilities are just as powerful as the Destructo-Disk, but I do see your point. It's hard to draw the line at exactly WHAT Dragonball abilities would do against Adamantium. I think Piccolo is just a tad superior to Wolverine in several key ways, and I think his ranged attacks give him an advantage even if you don't think he can pull off the perfect head shot. I still feel good about my decision here, though I understand where you're coming from.
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Whoops, deleted to fix a typo or two. I digress, I can see where you're coming from. I'm not sure the exact specifics of Piccolo's Destructive Wave techniques, but I do remember it mentioned numerous times that Krillin's Destructo-Disk is so focused it can cut through ANYTHING. Still, I see your reasoning. It's hard with such a broad range of skills and talents in all the different universes to balance them all out. Out of curiosity, how would you rank Captain America's shield in all of this?
Captain America's shield is definitely super powerful, though I've looked at the region, and I think it will be a detriment before it can be an asset. I'll give you a hint: look at the two seed in the Hogwarts region. He's screwed before I have to worry about it. XD
Hm, I wouldn't be so sure. Even without his shield, Captain America is an expert at hand-to-hand combat and has heightened strength, speed, agility, reflexes and endurance due to the super soldier serum. Magneto's an old man. I will say, it would be hilarious to see Magneto go against the #3 seed. 😉
True. He's less screwed than, say, the other fighters in the region. I guess this means you'll just have to check back all this week to see what happens, huh? What a shame XD