Tatooine Region: Day 2

Carnage vs. Davy Jones! Altair vs. Dean Winchester! Goku vs. Kirby! Zelda vs. Meta Knight! Which of these fighters will join Obi-Wan in the Sweet Sixteen? MaristPlayBoy is here to analyze the match-ups.

New to the action? Check out the introduction to the Tournament of Champions here.

Kanto Region: Day 1, Day 2, Day 3, Day 4, Day 5

Tatooine Region: Day 1

Another day, another great group of fights ahead of us. Let’s get right to it!

4. Carnage vs. 29. Davy Jones

The Davy Jones appearing in this tournament is the swashbuckler from the Pirates of the Caribbean. By all accounts, Davy Jones is probably overpowered for this tournament, as he is a brilliant swordsman, has claw hands that can cut swords in half, can teleport at night and, minor detail, is immortal. He only has two weaknesses, and I don’t know how that would play in here. He’s not technically allowed to come onto land, which means he couldn’t even participate in this land-based tournament (No, I’m not making Carnage fight on a ship in the Dune Sea. That’s bull. Everyone else fought on the Final Destination stage; so can Davy Jones). So I’m going to fudge his abilities a bit and say that if he comes onto land, he loses his immortality, therefore allowing him to fight in the tournament and not making him impossible to kill. Fair? Good, moving on. He’s still a skilled swordsman and incredibly strong, so he’s still pretty undervalued as a 29 seed. It would take one heck of a beast to take him down.

Too bad then that his first round opponent is Carnage, the most badass of beasts the Marvel Universe may have ever seen. Much like Venom, Carnage is a symbiote that has enhanced the abilities of Cletus Kasady, a man whose view of the world has shaped this creature into a one monster force of chaos and destruction. He has the agility and reflexes of Spider-Man with strength greater than Venom and Spider-Man combined. He can form weapons with his webs (or mutate his own form to do the same thing), engage in psychic warfare with symbiotic tendrils can even fly. Carnage is the greatest of beasts, pure and simple, and his ability to rip enemies to shreds is almost unmatched. You deserved better than you got, Davy Jones, but you don’t stand much of a chance against Carnage. Carnage advances.

13. Altair vs. 20. Dean Winchester

Dean Winchester is one of the central protagonists from Supernatural. He’s a proficient marksman, adept with martial arts and knife fighting, is incredibly intelligent, and is basically a modern day assassin. Honestly, reading his skill set makes me almost wish he was the main character in the Assassin’s Creed series instead of Desmond “I have absolutely nothing that makes me significant or memorable in any way” Miles. Hell, he’s even learned some basic magic after spending some time in hell (the show is weird). I was originally going to make a joke here about how he was overrated given I’d never really gotten into the show, but looking at his skill set, he might possibly be underrated. I know; I’m shocked too.

Altair Ibn La’Ahad is a Palestinian Assassin, and the main protagonist for the original Assassin’s Creed game. Remember everything I said about Ezio back in my analysis of Kanto Region Day 2? Same applies here (if you don’t remember, I keep the links at the top of every article for a reason :P). He’s a good swordsman, but his skills are really in the sneaky side of the spectrum, which doesn’t work well when the stage is a flat surface with no real distinguishable land features. It also doesn’t help that Dean Winchester has those same skills, but can also shoot guns. Dean takes the upset this round, but…

4. Carnage vs. 20. Dean Winchester

…There’s no way in hell be survives this fight. I mean, it would be worth the price of admission just to watch Dean try everything he can to take down Carnage, only to realize that guns, knives, and even holy spells have no negligible effect on him. Really, Carnage is salivating at the thought of this fight, and he’ll advance easily.

5. Goku vs. 28. Kirby

How does one properly rank Kirby? Kirby, if you don’t know, is the most adorable creation Nintendo has probably ever made. A pink ball of fluff, Kirby is able to fly into the air, suck up his opponents, and spit them out. But doing so gives him that creature’s powers. In Super Smash Bros., the opponents emerge from this process after taking minimal damage as Kirby takes one of their basic moves, but in the games, thats a way Kirby defeats a significant portion of his enemies. And that doesn’t take into consideration the way his powers changed completely in Kirby’s Epic Yarn (he could turn into a tank made of string! Like I said, adorable). We’ll have to assume Super Smash Bros. rules, otherwise Kirby is impossible to beat…

…but that means someone like Goku, who is an incredibly skilled martial artist from the Dragonball series of anime and manga, can basically kick the puff out of this fluffball. I mean, really, Kirby might be able to fly, but so can Goku when he uses the Air Dance Technique, so that’s not really an escape. Also, Kirby’s small size means he’s really easy to hit around, and Goku can pack quite a punch, even if he’s not allowed to go into Super Saiyan mode (see the introduction for an explanation). Also, kamehameha. ‘Nuff said. Goku advances.

12. Zelda vs. 21. Meta Knight


Zelda is the titular princess of the Legend of Zelda games, though not the protagonist (which is, of course, Link. Apparently, saving Hyrule time and time again isn’t noteworthy enough to get a game named after you). In many games, she ends up getting kidnapped by Ganon (typical Nintendo princess stuff), but she’s not a complete damsel in distress like her counterpart, Princess Peach. Zelda has some magical powers, including teleportation, telepathy, and precognition, though the latter only in small quantities. She can cast basic spells of protection, and she even has an alter ego, Shiek, in which she displays agility and knife throwing proficiency. Clearly she can hold her own.


Meta Knight is much more of an enigma in Dreamland, as he has gone back and forth as an ally and enemy of Kirby. What we do know about Meta Knight is that he has a magical sword known as the Galaxia sword that is incredibly powerful with which he is very proficient, he has a dimensional cape that allows him to teleport, shroud himself, and fly for short distances as they turn into wings, and has a code of honor that prevents him from just outright killing people. This fight is a tough one to call, as neither character has a truly definitive list of abilities, and their Super Smash Bros. personas are really all we know for sure. Just going from that game, however, Meta Knight’s agility and quickness with his sword are more effective in combat than either Shiek’s relatively weak throwing knives or Zelda’s fireball spell. It could go either way, but I’m going with Meta Knight as the better fighter here.


5. Goku vs. 21. Meta Knight


Goku’s kamehameha is an energy attack that can obliterate weaker opponents. His spirit bomb ability is even more powerful. Meta Knight is the same size as Kirby, and roughly as easy to knock around. I’m sorry, but I don’t see Meta Knight having much of a chance. Sword or no sword, anything from Dreamland is just a punching bag for a saiyan like Goku. Goku advances easily, which means…


4. Carnage vs. 5. Goku


I’ve gone back and forth on this one a few times, but at the end of the day, I think Carnage wins this one on a single factor: Goku’s abilities take too damn long to work. A kamehameha has the ability to destroy the Earth when fully charged, but it takes two-three episodes to fully charge (why the enemies stand back and let him do that, I’ll never know). Spirit bomb is even more powerful, but takes even more time to use. Do you really think a bloodthirsty, savage beast like Carnage is going to give Goku the time to use these abilities? Didn’t think so either. Sorry, Goku, but Carnage is more powerful, and more resistant to damage in a one-on-one fight, and he won’t give you the time to show him your energy blasts. Carnage joins Obi-Wan in the Sweet Sixteen.


Agree with my decisions? Think I’m betraying everything you knew and loved about your childhood by not siding with your favorite character? Let me know in the comments below. We’ll have more great fights tomorrow, but until then, this is MaristPlayBoy signing out.