Hey all. I’ve had several discussions with people on what exactly constitutes a “Skiffy Movie”. For the purposes of this post, I’m defining a Skiffy Movie as:
-A movie that is either or both firmly in the science fiction/fantasy genres.
-A movie that someone in Skiffy would probably watch.
-A movie you could see being done in MST3K.
-A movie that is more likely than not So Bad It’s Good.
-A movie that more likely than not has manass.
Now, that being said, every year the President of Skiffy reminds everyone that there are two other qualifications to nominate a movie in Skiffy: The movie must actually exist, and the movie must not be pornographic. Unfortunately, it is that last classification that prevents this movie from being shown.
Now I can hear some of you hollering: Whoa whoa whoa! Adam is going to review a porno on this site?! WHAT IS THIS. Well no, no I’m not. But there are parts of this movie that are much too intensely sexual to be displayed at any Skiffy meeting. And do you know why? Because it’s an 80’s Hard R-rated Film. A Hard R is a movie that is very obviously an R rated film, and is probably too intense to be shown on TV without severe editing and probably dropping a few scenes. In the 80’s, you could still have frontal nudity in R rated films, and also egregious manass. Hell, the first minute of this film has some (rather unappealing) naked breasts right out there for everyone to see.
So what IS this mystery film, I hear you ask. Re-Animator, the moviefilm based off of H.P. Lovecraft’s “Herbert West – Reanimator.” Despite the events of the movie having only the vaguest of relation to the original story, this movie has everything one of us would want: Zombies, 80’s-ified love plots, sex (there IS a little on-scene sex, which is another reason this movie probably wouldn’t fly), mad science, and then…well, all of those converge into one of the creepiest almost-rape scenes I’ve ever seen. Without spoiling too much: there is a scene where the female lead is strapped to a table, naked, and the main zombie antagonist (who, unlike other zombie films, is actually intelligent, and is actually reanimated both as a head and as a body separately), proceeds to begin to do perverse things to her until the heroes show up to stop him from doing something so absolutely gross I don’t even want to think of it.
However. I would say this movie is highly worth it to watch. It goes back and forth between being gruesomely bloody and absolutely hilarious (think Evil Dead 2, maybe bloodier). It just so happens that there are not only some super-sexual scenes (and a whole lot of manass), and one of them is very, very creepy and probably not good for someone who is prone to triggers from abuse like rape.
As a side note, I highly recommend you go read the original Herbert West – Reanimator story as well, which you can find online for free right here.
-Super Jew, AWAAAAAAY!
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