Monthly Archives: February 2012

Extra Introspection: King of Limbs Review

MaristPlayBoy, Muse, music, music albums, music of 2011, post-modernist music, Radiohead, The King of Limbs

I guess now’s as good a time as ever to open a new running segment I’ve been planning for a while, but hadn’t had the opportunity: “Extra Introspection”. Basically, whenever one of us here posts an article that receives a massive amount of backlash or criticism (or merely a ton of questions that provoke discussion), the author of the article has to respond to the criticism as best as he or she can by answering to each point brought up by the readers/viewers. It’s always good to get opposing viewpoints, and if any opinion here can’t stand up to scrutiny, it shouldn’t have been posted.


Turns out I’m the first to be tested. On Wednesday, I posted my review of Radiohead’s latest album: The King of Limbs. I knew from the beginning I wasn’t going to make any fans for this one, but I couldn’t have foreseen the passionate responses by Radiohead fans on Facebook and the article itself. I don’t want anyone to feel as if their voice wasn’t heard, and after taking everything into consideration, I’ve decided to write this article. I’m going to deal with every criticism given to it, beginning with some minor misconceptions and working towards the biggest ones at the end. Questions will be in bold (paraphrased for simpler digestion) with my responses right below them.


Okay? Okay. Let’s do this.


Why did you bring up Creep? Radiohead hates Creep.


This was probably the weirdest note I got. I know Radiohead hates Creep. It’s irrelevant. Its only purpose in the article was to explain my limited background with the band while explaining their lack of mainstream relevance recently. Whether the band hates Creep or not, most people who only have a cursory knowledge of Radiohead knows the song, and it’s their last song to be a massive hit in the United States. Which reminds me…


Radiohead does have mainstream relevance. Look at their album sales!


Yeah, I know the album premiered at #3 on the Billboard Hot 200; I didn’t include that in the original article because I didn’t think it was necessary (though I did edit it in later when I saw people didn’t understand why I didn’t include it). If you look at the musical spectrum when the album premiered, it’s status at #3 makes a lot of sense. Each of their independently produced albums has premiered during a weaker sales period, and each has had significant drop-off after the first week of sales. Basically, those who love Radiohead buy the album right away, and that’s about it. It’s a misleading statistic, and I don’t think it’s indicative of any mainstream relevance. Most people haven’t heard the album or any other recent music by Radiohead; I’ll stand by that statement, and I don’t think the stat here takes away from it.


Oh, and before you ask, I’m aware they’ve also had a ton of critical praise. There’s a massive disconnect between the critics and the fans in any medium, and music is probably the worst at this. The second Facebook comment pointed out that Rolling Stone, the magazine most readily associated with music, has no idea what they’re doing. Critical praise is not equal to mainstream relevance. Maybe that’s a shame, but for now, it’s definitely true.


But they’re so talented as musicians!


Yes, they are. They’re incredible musicians, and I don’t think there are any bands out there that could replicate what they do. In fact I said as much in my actual review:


“they know how to put together a musically impressive melody”


“I know for a fact that Radiohead are incredibly talented musicians. To make the music they do requires a high level of talent that very few bands can replicate”


Forget what I said earlier; this was the weirdest criticism I got. Not sure what was unclear about my statements above, but I’ll say it again: Radiohead is incredibly talented. This actually coincides with the next criticism:


If you listen to more of their music…


I’m going to stop you there. This isn’t a review of Radiohead as a band. If it was, I would definitely point out their growth as musicians, spend much more time investigating the causes of their exploration of private publishing, and give the band a ton of credit for staying true to their own desires without ever having to sell out (I’ll take Radiohead over any sell out, regardless of talent, any day), but that wasn’t the goal. In these album reviews, I’m doing just that, reviewing the album. Their place in Radiohead lore is only background; every album is the first album to someone, and as such, each album must stand on its own without first examining previous albums. For example, one of my next reviews is Rise Against’s newest album “Endgame”. I’ve spent a ton of time listening to Rise Against’s music (you could safely call me a fan), but while I may draw a few comparisons, my focus is to play the “every man” and see how the album stands up on its own merit (spoiler alert: not as well as I’d hoped).


I appreciate the sentiment, and I get the natural tendency to say, “But if you listen to the other albums, you’ll get their transition as a band”. That may be so, but it isn’t fair to judge an album based on factors outside of the actual album. Which reminds me…


They’re just sticking true to their fan base. True fans are the only ones that matter.


We’ll have to agree to disagree. I think any time a band passes up the opportunity to welcome new potential fans into the fold, providing they don’t have to sell out to do it, they’re wasting that opportunity. I went into this album with high expectations really wanting to enjoy it. By the simple nature of their music, it was nearly impossible for me to do so from the get-go (I’m working to that; don’t worry).


There’s a difference between being true to your music and alienating those that haven’t been around since the beginning. It’s an admittedly fine line, but my assessment is that Radiohead is on the latter side of the fence. I wanted to become a true fan, and that’s the flaw with saying bands should only care about the fans they already have. Why waste a chance to make new fans with an appreciation for your music?


And I’ll address this directly to the Radiohead fans: is this really all you wanted from this album? Eight songs at a paltry 37 minute running time with very impressive but very similar themes and musical stylings? I mean, that’s fine if that’s all you want, but if my favorite band released an album with only eight songs on it, I’d feel as if I didn’t get my money’s worth. Oh yeah, I almost forgot…


But the album does shift! Look at the tempo shifts between songs again. You can’t really say there isn’t any change between any of the songs on the album.


I have a feeling a lot of this comes from my comparison between Radiohead and Muse, so I’ll throw this criticism up here as well…


You can’t compare Radiohead and Muse! They’re completely different!


This is a comparison that I took from several Radiohead fans who happened to discover I listened to Muse (because I listen to Muse a lot) and proceeded to give me crap for it. Their argument was that I was listening to a poor man’s Radiohead (I disagree), and I’ve seen similar arguments on Muse and Radiohead forums. 


The divide of people reading this article was split, however. Some noticed some similar musical stylings and a prevalent use of falsetto by the lead singer, and others said there was no connection between the two and seemed adamant enough that I feel a need to clean up what I was trying to say in my comparison. 


Yes, I will admit, the songs change in distinct ways from one song to the next. The best example was provided to me on Facebook (he compared Feral, the fourth track on the album, to Give Up the Ghost, the seventh track), and upon this isolated listen, I agree wholeheartedly that there are some differences. However, I didn’t listen to it in isolation like this. I listened to the album as a whole, start to finish, every time. I’m reviewing albums here, and as such, I don’t like listening to single songs because the cohesiveness of the album is a factor I take into consideration in my review (I give Radiohead a lot of credit in this as, like I said in my review, this does feel like an album more than most albums released in recent history, and I’ll tip my hat for that). 


My point was that if you listen to the album as a whole, this change is very gradual to the point where I didn’t even recognize it was happening despite having listened to the album several times. This brings me back to my comparison with Muse. With Radiohead, there’s no point at which I thought to myself, ‘Wow, they’re doing something very new and different from what I’ve already heard on this album.’ Nothing stood out as a memorable moment to me while listening to it. Compare that with Muse’s Black Holes and Revelations album, which has the two songs I referenced yesterday right next to each other. The juxtaposition draws one in and really stands out as a powerful moment on the album given each song’s thematic importance.


When I said I wanted a “faster, more upbeat song”, what I meant (and about which I admittedly should have been far more clear) was that I wished there was a moment of juxtaposition that stood out to me. A single moment of abrupt change in style or tone would have done A LOT to raise my opinion of the album, and given its brevity, I don’t see why Radiohead couldn’t have done this. And like that, we’re at the final point. This was done so eloquently that I’m going to post the response verbatim, because my paraphrasing won’t do it justice.


It’s called Post-Modernism. If they gave you a clear-cut emotion and meaning, they wouldn’t be doing their job right. No one ever said art had to explain what it was about, or even that you had to like it. That “complex nothingness” you were talking about is the very foundation of modern art and philosophy. Nothing is ever actually as simple as it appears to be.

I think you might have meant to say that you wish their music was a little more intelligible to those who aren’t familiar with Radiohead’s unusual stylings. They tend to do anything they can to defy classification, and this scares off those listeners who rely on being able to immediately extract a meaning, texture, and emotion from a song in order to appreciate it.


I’m going to flat-out say it: I don’t understand this philosophy at all. That doesn’t mean I don’t have an appreciation for it; those who nodded their head after reading those two paragraphs get all of my respect for understanding what he’s saying and having it provide meaning in your appreciation of art. I may know what he’s saying, but I can honestly say I don’t “get it”.


Here are my issues with this thinking: why is it bad to get a clear-cut emotion from music? I am aware they’re not trying to give me one, but I don’t know why certain schools of art have lost the desire to move people the way they have for centuries, but this is probably the biggest reason why I reviewed this album in the first place. 


As I said before, this isn’t what I think music is about. I love when music makes me feel something. I love getting psyched up by battle anthems like Saliva’s Ladies and Gentleman. I love empathizing with the tragic tales provided in songs like 30 Seconds to Mars’ Buddha for Mary. I love losing my mind in a song like Senses Fail’s All the Best Cowboys Have Daddy Issues. The songs to which I listen most frequently all make me feel something powerful, and when I listen to them, it has a profound effect on me.


What’s so bad about that? Why is moving people “not doing your job right”? As an English major, the best comparison I can make is comparing something like Joseph Heller’s Catch-22 with James Joyce’s The Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man. Both are stream of consciousness novels with a lot of symbolism behind them, but Heller provides you with a great story that can give you enjoyment on the surface if you don’t get the hidden meaning right away, whereas Joyce forces the reader to work for every ounce of understanding. And yet when I compare people’s writing to Joyce, they take it as a compliment. I just don’t get it.


The best part about this is I don’t have to. As I’ve said earlier, I’m taking the point of view of the “every man” in these reviews, and as several diehard Radiohead fans stated, Radiohead doesn’t care. They’re making music for themselves and their “true fans”. If that’s what they want, then perfect. I’m happy for them, and far happier with them than any band that sells out or is just plain bad (I still listen to this album and feel like I’m listening to the embodiment of nothing, but I’d take well crafted nothing over a lot of what’s out there in music right now, and I think Radiohead fans will be pleasantly surprised when I do my “end of” rankings later this year).


But for the every man? I stick to my judgment. I can’t recommend it to anyone that isn’t a Radiohead fan or really into chill, post-modernist music. And let’s face it: if either of these facts are true, you’ve bought this album, listened to it countless times, and dedicated a shrine to them in their honor (ok, maybe not the last one). I still think it’s too short, but none of the fans seemed to mind, so I guess if you guys don’t care, why should I?


So that’s my reasoning behind all of the comments I made. I stand by my article on these points, but I’m perfectly fine if you still disagree, though hopefully my point of view has been made far more clear.


On a final note: thanks to all of the Radiohead fans who submitted comments. I know no one likes watching people give a mediocre review of a band they really like, but all of you were incredibly civil in your arguments and provided a lot of reasoning as to why you felt the way you do, which is quite rare on the internet. As always, I love getting feedback, as it helps me do my job better in the future. 


My utmost respect goes out to Radiohead and their fans, even if I’m not one of them.


Oh, and before I forget, I feel as if this bonus question is necessary:


What the hell is up with your screen name?


I’ve gotten some flak for this in the past, and I think it’s finally time to reveal the origin of “Marist Play Boy”. See, when I was in high school (Marist School, to be precise), my friend Kyle used to make fun of me for being such a theatre kid. As I auditioned for what would by my fourth show of my sophomore year, he accidentally called me a “play boy”, and hilarity ensued. Another friend of mine overheard this,  and when I was setting up my gamertag for Xbox Live, she made it my screen name while I was upstairs getting myself a glass of water. When I came down, I figured I had two choices: 1) Change it and be a Debbie Downer or 2) Embrace the obvious stupidity of being a man with absolutely no game being called a “Play Boy”. For coherence sake, I just use it for everything now, and this blog is no exception. Yeah, it’s stupid, and you can make fun of me for it if you want, but it’s mine, and I’ll stand by it. I’m stubborn like that :P.   

Musical Retrospective 2011: The King of Limbs

alternative rock, MaristPlayBoy, music, music albums, music of 2011, music review, Radiohead, rock music, The King of Limbs
Boy, am I not going to make any fans for this one.
Some background: I’ve never listened to much Radiohead before I reviewed this album. I mean, I know Creep because, well, everyone knows Creep. It’s by far their biggest hit in the United States, and one could argue their ONLY hit in the United States. While they continuously released hit single after hit single in the nineties until 2003 in the U.K., only Creep made it big here. After 2003, however, something strange happened: they didn’t release another single until 2008. With the exception of their song Nude (which is really weird to look up in the youtube search bar for obvious reasons), none of them were big hits even in the U.K., and none of their singles released since 2009 have even charted over there.

(Edit: A reader on Facebook pointed out to me that while singles haven’t been successful in recent years, both of their self-released albums debuted #3 on the Billboard Hot 200 on sales. While one could argue that this means they were far from irrelevant, I’d point to the immediate drop off in sales after their first week as evidence that the only people that were listening to Radiohead were those that were already big fans of Radiohead, meaning Radiohead had lost it’s mainstream relevance, which is how I probably should have worded my original argument. One could make the point here that Radiohead doesn’t care about being relevant in the mainstream, which is probably true, but I don’t think that takes away from any of the points I make in the rest of this column, so we’ll leave it at that.)

What happened? I’m not sure. Some preliminary research (i.e. Wikipedia) points out that their disappearance from relevance coincides with their decision to self-publish their own music, meaning a lot less artistic limitations but also a lot less quality control. They’ve even gotten in disputes with their old publisher, as a “Best of” album was released without their approval or involvement not containing any of their self-published hits (Radiohead went as far as to say they saw the endeavor as pointless because “We haven’t had any [hits]”. Stop, Radiohead, you’re doing my job for me).
All of this is to say that Radiohead has its fans, but I’ve never been one of them, and their lack of relevance since 2003 makes me wonder why people like Rolling Stone release lists that rank this album as the fifth best album of the year. Putting aside the clearly flawed mentality that goes into comparing vastly different genres of music to each other and deciding which is “better”, this is the same magazine that ranked Thank You, Happy Birthday at #15, and we all know how I feel about that album.
But Chase, you ask, what about the music? I mean, if the music is good, doesn’t that justify its ranking? Well, we can argue good and bad until the end of time, but I think this is as good as any for a tangent (my second of the article; good pace here :P) of why music like this turns me off immediately.
See, I’m a firm believer that music is about conveying powerful emotions, not just mild contentment. Music is about the passions, both the good and the bad. It’s about raging against those who have hurt you and basking in the greatest moments you wish would never end. Mild contentment just isn’t for what I listen to music. It doesn’t say anything, do anything, or have any effect on me. It’s just kind of there. Music has the ability to move people to really feel something, but mild contentment to me is just the embodiment of no feeling, and for me, I just have no need for that in my life.
This is why I’ve always taken it so offensively when people say that Muse is just a dumbed-down Radiohead, though I get the point. When Muse does their slow songs, they tend to create these complex melodies similar stylistically to those Radiohead did a decade before them and still continues to be the strength of Radiohead’s music. Say what you will about Radiohead (I’ve sure said a lot, with more still to come), but they know how to put together a musically impressive melody.
The problem here lies in the effect created, which is why I find Muse to be far more enjoyable. See, Muse balances their albums between slow songs like Invincible and fast-paced songs like Assassin that are equally well-crafted, and the contrast between the two makes each more palpable. The effect of each is magnified by the other, which makes the album as a whole far more interesting.
Radiohead’s King of Limbs album (yes, we’re finally getting to the review part of my review; thanks for staying with me) by contrast are eight songs so similar musically that you can’t tell where one ends and the other begins. While this does make it feel more like an album than most that I’ll be reviewing over the next several months, it also illustrates my biggest problem: the feel and theme of the album never shifts from one of mild contentment. Oh yes, it’s all very pretty, but for what purpose? It has no effect on me because there’s nothing to contrast it. 
This puts me in a weird spot. I know for a fact that Radiohead are incredibly talented musicians. To make the music they do requires a high level of talent that very few bands can replicate, but I’m not sure why anyone would want to. The music doesn’t say anything, and it surely doesn’t make me feel anything. I’ve listened to the album five times (my minimum before I do a review), and I honestly can’t tell you a single high or low point on the album. I can’t tell you where one song ends and another begins. There’s no rising or falling motions; it’s just kind of there. It passes by without you even noticing and disappears before you realize it showed up. Honestly, I listened to this album once and it took me a whole five minutes to notice it had ended. I wasn’t even distracted by anything; trying to focus on it, it was still such a nothing that it had faded into the background.
Maybe if I was stoned out of my mind, such complex nothingness would be far more meaningful, but I can’t positively recommend an album that has absolutely no impact on me. It begins as nothing, accomplishes nothing, and then proceeds to fade into nothingness. That’s why I had to have so many tangents at the beginning; there’s just not much to say here. It barely exists at all. It’s brevity doesn’t help, as the album is just below 38 minutes long. In an album that could have improved greatly with just a couple songs to compliment what’s already present, there’s no excuse to make your album that short.

Final Verdict: Unless you’re a big Radiohead fan or just a fan of overwhelmingly chill music (in both cases, I just don’t get you), you won’t find anything here. There aren’t even single songs to recommend as each song just fades into the next to create the album feel. I get what they were going for here, and on a good day, I’ll even admit that I appreciate the attempt, but it didn’t work at all for me. Even one faster, more upbeat song would have saved this album; instead it gets a big pass.

Musical Retrospective 2011: Introduction and Thank You, Happy Birthday

"Thank You Happy Birthday", Cage the Elephant, garage rock, Happy Birthday, indie rock, MaristPlayBoy, music, music albums, music of 2011, music review, RCA Records, rock music, Thank You

Those of you who are incredibly attentive to our youtube page may have noticed a little video I put up there in the beginning of January in which I said I was going to make a new video every day of the month, covering all the album releases that I felt were relevant (and in a style of music about which I feel qualified to discuss) of 2011.

I was being really, really dumb.

See, it turns out making video reviews (not Vlogs, which is the format with which we’ve been experimenting as a site currently as I teach myself how to actually use iMovie) is really, really hard. It didn’t work out well for me when I was just trying to do one video, so I realized pretty quickly that my plan wasn’t really going to work.

I’ve obviously given up on that project, but I’ve decided to morph it into something new, because there’s no reason I should let a good idea go completely to waste. So, I’ve decided to make this a written musical retrospective, in which I’ll attempt to cover fifty-two (52!) albums from 2011. Each article will cover a different album (some attempt at consistent chronology will be given). I’ll write a (hopefully) clever introduction, talk about each album’s pros and cons, and tell you whether the album is worth your money (and if not, what songs, if any, are). So, hobey ho!

Thank You, Happy Birthday by Cage the Elephant: Let me make something clear to you guys from the start. I go into all of these album reviews with a completely open mind; if anything, I’m mildly optimistic, hoping the album will impress me and I’ll be able to sit back, enjoy it, and tell you guys how wonderful music can be.

Unfortunately, the first album of my project sucks. And I don’t mean “this is a taste thing and this music just isn’t for me”, I mean I don’t see how this album is intended for any sort of human ears. Hell, the fact that it has a fan base boggles my mind. I literally cannot come up with an explanation as to how anyone on this planet likes this music.

I should back up. Cage the Elephant is an indie garage rock band that gained some mainstream cred when Ain’t No Rest for the Wicked hit it big in 2009, become the anthem for one of my favorite video games of that year (Borderlands), and gave many, including myself, hope that indie rock could actually maintain some relevancy in a pop world that has forgotten all about rock culture (I’m going to do a video on that when time permits, but for now, I’ll just point out that Lonely Boy by the Black Keys (I could argue how “rock” this song is, but that’s another another day) has held the #1 spot on the rock song charts since mid-December, and the highest it’s hit on the pop charts is 64). Of course, I didn’t actually listen to their album, and I don’t think most of the people who praised the band based on that one song did either. We just all collectively agreed that they were good and that was that.

Not that they gave any evidence to the contrary. Their next two singles, Back Against the Wall and In One Ear were actually more popular on the radio. Granted, I didn’t listen to the radio all that often back then, so my knowledge of them isn’t to the extent of Ain’t No Rest for the Wicked, but I’ve listened to them and both were very enjoyable, just as good as their previous hits. I had every reason to look forward to their second album, especially when Shake Me Down, possibly my favorite song of theirs so far in their young career, came out in November, and I bought completely into the hype machine.

Unfortunately, they seemed more than aware of this, as they spent little to no effort on most of the other songs in the album. The songs that were intended for singles, Shake Me Down, Around My Head and Aberdeen, had much more polish than the rest of the album as if to say, “Well, we know we’ll make most of our money in radio play and people buying single songs, so it’s okay if we just half-ass the rest of the album, right?”

And boy, did they. Without any of the polish and production values present in their greatest songs, the rest of the album sounds incredibly rough. I get that they are going for a “Garage band” style, but that doesn’t mean it should sound like they still belong in the garage!

Want proof? I have a really fun game for you. See how far you can get into “Sell Yourself” before your ears begin to bleed or your hand compulsively mutes the computer to save your sanity. I can’t tell you how hard I had to force myself to get through this song, and I listened to this whole album five times so that I really knew what I was talking about before I started.

No, I’m not bitter. Why do you ask?

Then there are the songs that just seem to mock you. Sabertooth Tiger seems to thankfully end it’s uncatchy chorus and repetitive lyrics about halfway through the song, but right before it cuts out for good, the sabertooth tiger just roars back so they could repeat the chorus AGAIN.

There are some head-scratching moments as well. Someone with intelligence far greater than mine has to explain the meaning behind 2024. What am I supposed to do with the line: “And now you’re walking through the door/ Just like 2024”? What the fuck does that mean? Am I just not smart enough for this? Given I’m doing pretty well at a good college, I’m just going to assume I’m too smart for this, and lyrics this asinine just go right over my head.

Then there’s Indy Kidz, in which Cage the Elephant gives the middle finger to…well, I’m not exactly sure, honestly. There’s this weird breakdown part at the beginning and end in which he keeps saying, “I want to be just like you,” in this demented mocking voice, and I’m not sure who should be insulted. Is he mocking fans that look up to him without creating their own music? Is he mocking those who listen to their music but only pretend to understand and appreciate it to fit in (not sure which social groups would be dependent on this knowledge, but whatever)? Is he mocking those who try to listen to this music but aren’t really fans, thus pre-empting people like me who say it sucks by insinuating that I just don’t get it? If it is the last one, way to alienate potential fans that aren’t used to your genre, morons! You’re not that popular yet, you can’t alienate potential fans before you have them.

Even some of their more polished songs aren’t very good. I get why Around My Head became a hit (there just aren’t that many romantic songs on alternative and rock radio, and things that are different tend to stand out and be successful in any radio culture), but it does absolutely nothing to stand out. And I can’t listen to Aberdeen without thinking of the lead singer screeching every time he says “Aberdeen”. It’s not cool, it’s ear-piercingly painful. Again, these aren’t bad songs like the others I’ve mentioned, but they are by no means good.

All that said (and boy, was there a lot to be said), this album isn’t a complete waste. Like I said, Shake Me Down is probably my favorite song they’ve ever recorded, as the music and lyrics merge together seamlessly to create an eerie but oddly uplifting song. I also actually really like the opening track, Always Something, a song in which the rough edges make sense because I can literally hear the deterioration of the singer’s mind as the song goes on, perfectly matching the tone of the piece.

If you haven’t been able to tell yet, I didn’t care for this album at all. It’s incredibly rough around the edges as they seem to be using their indie garage band label to get out of consistently making well-made songs. If I wanted to hear a bunch of people playing unrefined, unpolished noise, I could walk around the neighborhood and find ten garage bands that are capable of most of this album. I pay money for music that is above that, and very little of this album is.

(For those of you who like scores, I’m going to have to disappoint you, as I’m not giving any. I just don’t think numerical values can capture the essence of the music available here. That said, I think my stance is pretty clear through my writing, so it’d be unnecessary regardless)

Final verdict: Pass. Quickly. And Don’t Look Back!

Songs that are worth it: Shake Me Down is the only song I can recommend for a general audience, though if you like rougher punk/garage style music, you’d probably enjoy Always Something and Aberdeen as well.

SKYRIM

Skyler, Skyrim, video games

Talos guide you all, travelers. This be my Skyrim post! Beware, it is not the first post I’ve done about Skyrim and it will not be the last.

Skyrim is a beautiful, deadly, immersive, life-sucking, awesome, and terrible game all rolled up into an expressive classically Bethesda open world experience. Whew. Put it simply, as did DeadEndThrills, it falls somewhere in between a massive anticlimax and the best thing ever. Many, many, many, many adolescent gamers fill the internet daily with Skyrim culture (as do the non-adolescent gamers who are adolescents at heart), Skyrim jokes and references, blogs unintentionally about Skyrim addiction, basically everything on the internet has had a brush with attempted Skyrim integration (see: arrow in the knee YouTube insanity). Skyrim is a AAA game from a respected developer (see: Baldur’s Gate, 2002) for which basically the whole internet had massive expectations. Its launch was huge, just an insanely massive conglomeration of geek culture, quality gaming, unprofessional testing quality… wait, what was that last one? Bugs on bugs on bugs at release date 11/11/11? No, don’t take too much from the novelty of releasing the game on that date. Bethesda didn’t rush out Skyrim for this date in particular with ridiculous amounts of bugs. No matter what release date Bethesda chose, and how long they delayed release, it would have still been as epically buggy as it was epic.

So, release was highly anticipated, and it delivered (and more!) but with some buzz-killing bugs like Buzz Killington was the lead tester. What were the thoughts of a humble gamer that first weekend of complete Skyrim immersion? Well, 50+ hours of nonstop gaming will give you very visceral first impressions. Rather, I think Skyrim is best explained through a series of individual impressions, because it’s such n individual experience. Beautiful water that disappears in some bugs, creepy spiders you can replace with bears, chickens that make a whole town try to murder you if you kill, children that JUST WON’T DIE, awesome killing moves that just get more and more awesome, mountains of which you can explore every inch, detailed and ancient sword models that will set your enemies on fire, rich lore in books that the more obsessive gamers will collect compulsively, iconic iron helmets with those awesome curling Viking horns which are depressingly weak, and a bunch of really buff ugly Nords running around a depressing, poor, and gorgeous landscape that focuses on that focuses on natural beauty rather than wealthy cities or a cosmopolitan empire. This is somewhat jarring to Oblivion players, but Morrowind players will know what’s happening here (word to my classic gamers, they represent the realness). Racist freedom fighters, lame imperials, pathetic money based morality system that’s a joke once you’re past level 15 and have a two-handed sword, overall I’d say it’s a positive impression.

How does it age? Annoying condescending housecarls, shopkeepers that have NO money, ridiculous crafting system that’s just frustratingly limited, a lot of useless things you’ll carry around that weigh a lot and don’t do anything, finding the same books in bookshelves over and over again, arrows in the knee that force you to live out the sad days of your existence as a city guard, and endless glitches that still get you killed, especially if you’re trying to work with some mods. There’s also some more good stuff, like magical deer, getting so powerful that nobody but a cluster of giants can stop you, a single chest that has so much of your useless stuff in it that it takes 7 seconds to put anything else in, random quests for obnoxious NPCs with petty quarrels that end in killing rampages, blah blah THIS GAME IS AWESOME. YOU KILL DRAGONS AND FISTFIGHT GHOSTS AND BEARS. Well, well, well, that’s the summary. This blog post comes soon after the still-dubious Steam Workshop and Skyrim mod-set announcement… which should improve the game greatly, as past full creation kit releases for Bethesda have, and there are already some great bugfixes and texture overhauls I’m running without a hitch, but these are all from Skyrim Nexus, part of the well tested and comprehensive Nexus network for Bethesda/BioWare games, and I really don’t know about this new Steam Workshop shenanigans. I just don’t like it travelers, what do you think? Great new integration with the game or draconian control freak extension of power? It’s worth thinking about. Signing off, and in the words of Tanzig Nordic, be young, have fun, stay cool, travelers.